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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that open it in one country between 2011 in 2018. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons were relevant.

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that open it in one country between 2011 in 2018. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons were relevant.
#shops #country #information #features #comparisons
The line chart below presents the
number
 of opened and closed
shops
 from 2011 to 2018.
Overall
, the
shops
started
Correct pronoun usage
that started
show examples
 to open over seven years were
fluctuative
Correct your spelling
fluctuating
as well as
 the closed ones.
However
, the market places closed had more
fluctuated
Replace the word
fluctuation
show examples
 than
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 opened markets. As can be seen in the figure,
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 2011 to 2012, the closed market decreased slightly, after that it increased for about 1000
shops
 in 2013, yet it declined again from 2013 to 2015 until it
fallen
Add the auxiliary verb
fell
has fallen
show examples
 down significantly in 2015 to the point of
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 than 1000
shops
. After that, it increased significantly in 2016 and
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 slightly stable
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 2016 to 2018. With regards to the
number
 of opened markets,
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 2011 to 2012, the
number
 was fallen down
drasrically
Correct your spelling
drastically
 from 8.500 to 4000, yet it increased gradually from 2012 to 2014.
Finally
, the
number
 becomes declined gradually
during
Change preposition
from
show examples
 2014 to 2018.
Submitted by rindia.ms on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, shops with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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