What are the advantages and disadvantages of children watching TV?

Nowadays, Spending more
time
on
television
is becoming so popular for many
children
.
However
, there are both pros and cons
of
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
TV
programs. In
this
essay, I will discuss some of the benefits and drawbacks of watching
television
for kids and provide my opinion
at the end
. Let’s start by looking at the advantages.
Firstly
, a
huge
Change the adjective
hugely

It appears that the adjective huge is attempting to modify the adjective positive. Consider replacing it with an adverb.

show examples
positive result of kids watching
TV
is that it helps them to develop an interest in learning and remembering
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
concepts easily.
Secondly
, watching foreign movies or cartoons without translation may help them to learn another language.
For example
, my younger cousin has improved his English language skills by watching
TV
series with original dubbing. Turning to the other side of the argument, watching
television
may have a negative
consequence
Fix the agreement mistake
consequences

It seems that consequence may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
for young people. Their eyesight will become worse.
For
example
Add a comma
,example

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase For example. Consider adding a comma.

show examples
when watching
TV
, the eyes have to focus on the screen, so they are often stressed and over-regulated. Increasingly, their vision is getting narrower and they cannot see without glasses.
In addition
,
children
using more
time
for
television
will not have enough
time
for
such
outdoor activities as playing football, cycling... In conclusion,
Television
has both benefits and drawbacks for
children
. Even though it can assist young people become more aware of the world around them, it can
also
lead to health problems and interfere with daily activities. In my opinion, the advantages of
television
outweigh the disadvantages because I believe that
children
Add a verb
arechildren
werechildren

Your sentence appears to be missing a verb.

show examples
able to choose the right content and use their
time
wisely.
Submitted by anhnguhongmai on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Check IELTS Writing Task 1 and Task 2 Online
Hundreds of algorithms will assess your writing according to 4 evaluation criteria. Writing9 helps you find the weak points of your essay and make it flawless.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Read more in the eBook

The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »

* free ebook for Premium users

What to do next:
Look at other essays:
Type your essay and get a band score instantly
Just type your IELTS essay and receive a clear, detailed report and band score in a moment.