The pie charts illustrate the percentage of carbohydrates, protein and fat in three different diets, namely Average diet, Healthy diet and Healthy diet for sport.
The diagrams demonstrate how the coastal
village
named Seaville changed over a 30-year period, starting from 1980.
Overall
, it is obvious that Seaville experienced significant modernization processes from a village
to a town
with the most noticeable changes being the mushrooming of numerous infrastructures for both residents and tourists over the period shown.
Looking at the west side for more detail, it is most noticeable that all the marshes and holiday cottages were demolished, making way for the construction of the permanent houses which was
to accommodate a certain number of inhabitants. Correct subject-verb agreement
were
In addition
, the woodland on the top left of the village
was replaced by the emergence of golf courses so as to attract more people to live there.
Moving on to the other side of the town
, where
witnessed the most dramatic changes. At Correct word choice
which
first,
there was numerous advanced development in order to attract tourists which was
the devastation of the tea room and the sand dunes, giving way to the birth of modern infrastructure Correct your spelling
as
such
as a restaurant and hotel. Moreover
, the town
also
experienced the construction of a retirement village
for senior citizens in
Change preposition
apply
which
had not had anything before.
Correct pronoun usage
who
Furthermore
, the traffic in that town
also
developed due to
the appearance of the street form
the retirement Correct your spelling
from
village
to the east bank.Submitted by luudang97 on
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words village, town with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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