We cannot help everyone in the world that needs help, so we should only be concerned with our own communities and countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#world #communities #countries

Certain groups today have argued that we cannot provide help to everyone in the

world

that needs help, so we need to be concerned only with our communities and

countries

This

essay completely disagrees with

this

viewpoint because I believe that

individuals

should take responsibility for the

world

and all people, not only caring about environmental

issues

but

also

building harmonious

societies

. One reason why

individuals

should care about the

world

is the issue of climate change. In the modern

world

, all

countries

have been affected by

this

phenomenon, which has led to environmental problems

such

as high temperatures, high sea levels, and air pollution. Humans are the main factor behind these

issues

, and

therefore

, all people around the

world

should care about

this

phenomenon. By starting to improve these

issues

through awareness about the effect of global warming.

For example

, in Thailand, the government and private sector have run campaigns promoting reducing waste and driving Sustainable Development Goals, which are the

world

’s goals to

this

day for reducing social problems

such

as environmental

issues

and equality. Another reason is the need for peaceful

societies

. Building harmonious

societies

starts with

individuals

, which is the most essential factor for forming peaceful

societies

whether they have different

countries

. When some country confronts a bad situation

such

as war, all

countries

should help.

For instance

, In Thailand,

this

country has an organization for helping refugees and protecting them from bad situations. In conclusion, it is not enough to be concerned only with our own communities and

countries

Individuals

should take responsibility for the

world

and people. Particularly environmental

issues

and

societies

. By working together, we can make a positive difference and create a more peaceful, sustainable

world

for generations to come.

Submitted by pear_chanok on Sun Apr 16 2023

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

Include an introduction and conclusion

Support main points with an explanation and then an example

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Vary your linking phrases using synonyms

Lexical resource: 5.0

Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms

Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Check your writing for errors

Task Achievement: 9.0

Answer all parts of the question

Present and fully explain ideas

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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We cannot help everyone in the world that needs help, so we should only be concerned with our own communities and countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Some people think that getting a degree from a university is the best way to guarantee a good job, others believe that it would be better to go straight into work and get experience instead. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many people believe that spending a lot of money on celebrations (birthdays/weddings) is a waste of money. Others believe that it is important for the individuals and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that large, impressive buildings are important for a city. Others believe that the money should be spent on improving schools and hospitals. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In many countries today, crime novels and TV crimes drams are becoming more and more popular. Why do you think these books and TV show are popular? What is your opinion of crime fiction and TV crime dramas?

In the past, when students did a university degree, they tended to study in their own country. Nowadays, they have more opportunity to study abroad. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?