The pie charts below show information on the highest level of education of women in Someland in 1945 and 1995

The pie charts below show information on the highest level of education of women in Someland in 1945 and 1995
The pie charts show how the
women
Change noun form
women's
show examples
education
scenario in
Someland
changed by comparing the highest level of female
education
in 1995 with that of five decades earlier.
Overall
,
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
notable progress in
education
was achieved by
women
in
Someland
Correct your spelling
Homeland
.
According to
the diagrams, more than one-third
women
Change preposition
of women
show examples
in
Someland
did not receive any formal
education
in 1945
while
another one-third dropped out before they even completed their primary
education
.
This
is a dismaying figure for
women
in terms of their schooling in
Someland
in 1945.
Moreover
, almost a quarter
female
Change preposition
of female
show examples
merely finished their sixth and ninth grades
whereas
only 4% made it to their 12th grades. Merely 1% of these
women
were awarded their first-degree certificates
while
none of them earned the post-graduation qualification.
However
, after fifty years, the progress was remarkable when one in every five
women
in
Someland
finished their post-graduation, half of them earned their
first-degree
Correct your spelling
first degree
show examples
and all
women
finished at least grade 9. No
women
in
Someland
in 1995
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
deprived of their
education
and 20% of them finished school years to finish their 12 grades.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 78%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words women, education, someland with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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