the bar graph shows the global sales in billions of dollars of different types of digital games between 2000 and 2006
The given bar graph gives
the
data bout the global Correct article usage
apply
sales
in billions of dollars types of digital games
from 2000 to 2006.There are four digital games
.They are mobile phone games
,online games
,console games
and handheld games
.
Looking at the graph as a whole, handheld games
are the most popular in this
priode
.As you can see,in 2001, online Correct your spelling
period
games
are meking
, and Correct your spelling
making
also
mobile phone games
are making in 2002.
In detail,in 2001,sales
of handheld games
over
Add a missing verb
were over
the
12bn,and Correct article usage
apply
also
the propotion
of Correct your spelling
proportion
promotion
sales
of it around
18bn in 2006.The Add a missing verb
was around
rete
of Correct your spelling
rate
sales
of console
reached a peak of about 6bn in 2000,after that the proportion of Fix the agreement mistake
consoles
sales
of it steady
Change the word
steadily
an
increased until 2006.So Correct article usage
apply
peopele
do not use console Correct your spelling
people
game
from time to time.In 2001, online Fix the agreement mistake
games
games
were making
,Change the form of the verb
made
then
the proportion of online games
increased insiginificant
between 2001 and 2006.In 2001, around 1bn people buy Correct your spelling
insignificant
online
Add an article
the online
an online
game
,Fix the agreement mistake
games
after
Correct word choice
and
5years
ago about 8bn people bought Correct your spelling
5 years
online
Add an article
the online
game
.Fix the agreement mistake
games
Moreover
,the proportion of user
mobile phone Fix the agreement mistake
users
games
different about 4bn between 2002 and 2006.Submitted by hatsudaya706 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 73%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words sales, games, bn with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼