the bar graph shows the global sales in billions of dollars of different types of digital games between 2000 and 2006

the bar graph shows the global sales in billions of dollars of different types of digital games between 2000 and 2006
The given bar graph gives
the
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data bout the global
sales
in billions of dollars types of digital
games
from 2000 to 2006.There are four digital
games
.They are mobile phone
games
,online
games
,console
games
and handheld
games
. Looking at the graph as a whole, handheld
games
are the most popular in
this
priode
Correct your spelling
period
.As you can see,in 2001, online
games
are
meking
Correct your spelling
making
, and
also
mobile phone
games
are making in 2002. In detail,in 2001,
sales
of handheld
games
over
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were over
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the
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12bn,and
also
the
propotion
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proportion
promotion
of
sales
of it
around
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was around
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18bn in 2006.The
rete
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rate
show examples
of
sales
of
console
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consoles
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reached a peak of about 6bn in 2000,after that the proportion of
sales
of it
steady
Change the word
steadily
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an
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apply
show examples
increased until 2006.So
peopele
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people
do not use console
game
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games
show examples
from time to time.In 2001, online
games
were
making
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made
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,
then
the proportion of online
games
increased
insiginificant
Correct your spelling
insignificant
between 2001 and 2006.In 2001, around 1bn people buy
online
Add an article
the online
an online
show examples
game
Fix the agreement mistake
games
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,
after
Correct word choice
and
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5years
Correct your spelling
5 years
ago about 8bn people bought
online
Add an article
the online
show examples
game
Fix the agreement mistake
games
show examples
.
Moreover
,the proportion of
user
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users
show examples
mobile phone
games
different about 4bn between 2002 and 2006.
Submitted by hatsudaya706 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 73%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sales, games, bn with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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