the bar graph shows the global sales in billions of dollars of different types of digital games between 2000 and 2006

#bar #sales #billions #dollars #games

The given bar graph gives

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

data bout the global

sales

in billions of dollars types of digital

games

from 2000 to 2006.There are four digital

games

.They are mobile phone

games

,online

games

,console

games

and handheld

games

. Looking at the graph as a whole, handheld

games

are the most popular in

this

priode

Correct your spelling

period

.As you can see,in 2001, online

games

are

meking

Correct your spelling

making

, and

also

mobile phone

games

are making in 2002. In detail,in 2001,

sales

of handheld

games

over

Add a missing verb

were over

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

12bn,and

also

the

propotion

Correct your spelling

proportion

promotion

sales

of it

around

Add a missing verb

was around

show examples

18bn in 2006.The

rete

Correct your spelling

rate

show examples

sales

console

Fix the agreement mistake

consoles

show examples

reached a peak of about 6bn in 2000,after that the proportion of

sales

of it

steady

Change the word

steadily

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

increased until 2006.So

peopele

Correct your spelling

people

do not use console

game

Fix the agreement mistake

games

show examples

from time to time.In 2001, online

games

were

making

Change the form of the verb

made

show examples

then

the proportion of online

games

increased

insiginificant

Correct your spelling

insignificant

between 2001 and 2006.In 2001, around 1bn people buy

online

Add an article

the online

an online

show examples

game

Fix the agreement mistake

games

show examples

after

Correct word choice

and

show examples

5years

Correct your spelling

5 years

ago about 8bn people bought

online

Add an article

the online

show examples

game

Fix the agreement mistake

games

show examples

Moreover

,the proportion of

user

Fix the agreement mistake

users

show examples

mobile phone

games

different about 4bn between 2002 and 2006.

Submitted by hatsudaya706 on Fri Apr 14 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 73%.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words sales, games, bn with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.

▼

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4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22Mistakes

3 paragraphs

168 words

6.50

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Include an introduction and conclusion

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Vary your linking phrases using synonyms

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Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms

Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Check your writing for errors

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the bar graph shows the global sales in billions of dollars of different types of digital games between 2000 and 2006

Some people think it is more important for government to spend public money on promoting healthy lifestyle in order to prevent illness than to spend it on the treatment of people who are already ill. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fresh water has always been a limited resource in some parts of the world. Today, however, growing worldwide demand has made this a global problem. What are the causes of the increased demand and what measures can governments and individuals take to respond to this problem?

Some people believe that holidays are necessary for students, others think that children should not have holidays because it is just a waste of time. Do you agree or disagree?

People sleeps less than before in many countries. Why do people sleep less? What effects does it have on individuals and on society?