Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Which
one
should be gained first
experience
or knowledge?
This
question has long been a source of contention. Regarding
this
question, many believe that youngsters should take a
job
for a few
years
between school and college. I, myself, believe that
this
suggestion has positive and negative aspects, a few of which will be discussed in
this
essay. On the
one
hand, when they take a gap year and focus to find a
job
, it is
also
a good side since
then
they will
experience
more real things
as well as
learn more know that only when they collide.
For example
, there are many students who decide to take a break from their studies and find a decent
job
that is
suitable for their chosen industry.
Besides
, if they perform at a good company, they will receive better things
such
as
experience
, lessons or good colleagues who are willing to point out mistakes and learn more things that they just see in books but haven’t practised yet. If they soon figure out
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the mismatch between them and their current place of employment, they might think about switching jobs with the belief that walking away from opportunities that don't align with his/ her true self and toward those that allow being authentically themselves at
work
in the future. Gap
years
, in the first place, provide them with sufficient amounts of time to take their process of orientation into account before making the ultimate decision on which major they need to get into at college.
In other words
,
this
prevents you from getting into situations where you are stuck between the rock and the hard place, feeling like you’ve come too far to turn back, but the end is not yet in sight and the success appears to be by far exclusive.
On the other hand
, there are some drawbacks to postponing the educational process and taking a career
instead
. The first
one
is being detached from studies. To clarify, those who
work
during the aforesaid period would often receive a substantial number of perks and benefits.
This
could tempt them to shift their central focus to working, to the detriment of their educational process. Another downside is that people who have come to
this
decision are bound to be outdone by their peers who have attended and graduated from universities in gaining higher positions or education. Obviously, going to
work
at a young age
as well as
not having enough
experience
will make students more likely to encounter bad people and be easily deceived
such
as being cheated of money or being tricked into illegal acts.
Therefore
,
one
should always be aware that
although
going to
work
can help students improve their lives, it
also
poses many dangerous risks. When you do anything, you need to be careful. In summation, from my perspective, taking a
job
for a few
years
between education is
also
beneficial and harmful.
While
having some gap
years
by the time officially receiving tertiary education at university or college can help a new school leaver boost his/ her self-awareness and improve
the
Change the word
their
her
his
show examples
future career,
this
path still has many bad effects. What actually matters is that we should do lots of research and take step by step during the changing progress of identifying ourselves to see whether we are more suitable for early
work
or school at a young age.
Submitted by jakelong16091994 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Read more in the eBook

The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »

* free ebook for Premium users

What to do next:
Look at other essays: