the pie charts below show the devices that people in the 18 to 25 age group use to watch television in canada in two different years

the pie charts below show the devices that people in the 18 to 25 age group use to watch television in canada in two different years
The pie chart depicts compare the rate of use the electronic devices that people in the 18 to 25 age from 2009 to 2019.It is clear from the graph that the percentage of using the conventional
TV
dominate continuously compared to others devices over the period shown.
Besides
the ratio of use tablets in 2009 and conventional
Tv
in 2019 saw the lowest majority with others
electronics
Replace the word
electronic
show examples
devices. In 2009 , The equivalent figure for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
conventional
Tv
ranked the highest rate
for
Change preposition
at
show examples
about 34% . The second highest ratio was
laptop
Fix the agreement mistake
laptops
show examples
the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
mobile phone in order
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
.
On the other hand
, in 2019 , the
estimate
Change the verb form
estimated
show examples
number of flat screens
using
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
had
covered
Correct your spelling
hovered
show examples
around 27% and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
followed
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
mobile phones with
figure
Add an article
the figure
a figure
show examples
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
26% .
While
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the laptop and desktop computer had the similar
precent
Correct your spelling
per cent
present
for about 12%.
Also
Add a comma
,Also
show examples
the conventional
Tv
represented the smallest rate in that year.
Submitted by aldossaryfaten95 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Vocabulary: Replace the words tv with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "compare" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: