The graph below shows the different home activities among young children in four different countries.

#home #activities #children #four #countries

The bar chart detail about different home activities among young

children

in four dissimilar countries. Looking from an

overall

perspective it is readily apparent that playing computer games was most popular among young

children

while

reading was the least option in all countries. It is observed that young

one

Correct pronoun usage

ones

show examples

from

nigeria

Change the capitalization

Nigeria

show examples

are more engaged in digital games with 60%,

while

children

from

malaysia

Change the capitalization

Malaysia

show examples

and

sudan

Change the capitalization

Sudan

show examples

are

Change preposition

apply

show examples

even equal for playing computer games figure

represented

Wrong verb form

representing

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

50%

whereas

little

one

Fix the agreement mistake

ones

show examples

from

china

Correct your spelling

China

show examples

were slightly lower by 10% respectively .

Interstingly

Correct your spelling

Interestingly

it is noticed that youngsters from

malaysia

Change the capitalization

Malaysia

show examples

china

nigeria

Change the capitalization

Nigeria

show examples

amd

Correct your spelling

and

sudan

Change the capitalization

Sudan

show examples

were

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

narrowed the disparity for watching television accounted for 30%. Sneak a glance

Change preposition

show examples

the least chosen option by small

children

was reading , where

nigeria

Change the capitalization

Nigeria

show examples

and

sudan

Change the capitalization

Sudan

show examples

represented

equal

Correct article usage

an equal

show examples

ratio(10%)

while

china

Correct your spelling

China

show examples

was at 15% and

malaysia

Change the capitalization

Malaysia

show examples

indicate 5% higher than

malaysia

Change the capitalization

Malaysia

show examples

Furthermore

board

Add an article

the board

a board

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game was popular

Correct your spelling

sudan

Change the capitalization

Sudan

show examples

Change preposition

at 30

show examples

while

malaysia

Change the capitalization

Malaysia

show examples

was

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

slightly decreased by 5% ,

whereas

young

children

from

china

Correct your spelling

China

show examples

amd

Correct your spelling

and

nigeria

Change the capitalization

Nigeria

show examples

were between 10-15% respectively.

Submitted by samruddhinibandhe0 on Sat Apr 08 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas, while".

▼

Introduction: The introduction is missing.

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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words children, nigeria, malaysia, sudan, china with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "represented" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

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4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
31Mistakes

4 paragraphs

173 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

One main idea per paragraph

Include an introduction and conclusion

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Vary your linking phrases using synonyms

Lexical resource: 4.0

Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms

Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Check your writing for errors

Task Achievement: 6.0

Answer all parts of the question

Use an appropriate tone

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The graph below shows the different home activities among young children in four different countries.

Today more people are overweight than ever before. What in your opinion is the primary cause of this? What measures can be taken to overcome this epidemic?

in some countries, governments are encouraging industries and business to move to regional areas out side the big cities. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays university education is considered very important for people's future. However, there are a lot of successful people who didn't get higher education. Do you think that higher education is necessary to succeed in life? Justify your opinion with relevant examples.