the chart below shows the aid form six developed countries to devloping countries from 2008-2009

the chart below shows the aid form six developed countries to devloping countries from 2008-2009
The given bar chart compares the assistance the US, Germany, the UK, Japan,
Netherlands
Correct article usage
the Netherlands
show examples
and
Sweden
offered to underdeveloped nations between 2008 and 2010.
Overall
, it is evident that the US was by far the greater contributor
while
Sweden
gave the least help throughout the period. In 2008, the US were the leading country to help their developing nation with around 22
billion
,
whereas
UK and Japan were the second countries to donate a high amount of money to the poor state in that
year
, both countries donated relatively similar figures. ,
Furthermore
Add a comma
,Furthermore
show examples
The other 3 countries donated funds which were around 10
billion
or lesser each that
year
. ,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
in the following two ,
years
Add a comma
,years
show examples
USsponsorship witnessed a decline of 20
billion
which was still greater than the other five nations' help, by 2010 US aid rose significantly to about 27
billion
. In ,contrast
Sweden
remains a lower supporter throughout the 3 years period, they gave out less than 10
billion
each
year
. The Netherlands did better than
Sweden
,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
their help was
also
less than 10
billion
each
year
.
Submitted by yeboahsamuellaabban on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
Vocabulary: Replace the words sweden, billion, year with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: