IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Despite health warnings, a large number of people continue to smoke all over the world. Why should we be concerned about this? What solutions would you suggest?

#health #warnings #people #smoke #world
Nowadays, society ignores the
health
 alert and
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
show examples
 not make an attempt to give up smoking, which leads to huge
health
 problems and should be taken into wider consideration. The biggest issue which both passive and active smokers should be worried about is
health
 problems,
such
 as
lungs
Change the noun form
lung
show examples
 disease and heart illness. Either passive or active smoking causes an extremely serious negative impact on the breathing system and heart beating. Wherever possible, medical institutions or various organisations should make the message clear enough
how
Change preposition
about how
show examples
 disastrous cigarette addiction might be. The other problem, which can't be neglected, it's a bad educational example from adults' side to adolescents. Saying to teenagers that smoking is too bad must be fed with a great example of a non-smoker. To do that, some marathons or activities should be held, involving both parents and their children , with a
health highlighted
Add a hyphen
health-highlighted
show examples
 motto.
To conclude
, people shouldn't neglect solving the smoking issue, which might lead to enormous
health
 concerns and poor educational examples for the next generation.
Submitted by rogozhnicova on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Read more in the eBook

The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »

* free ebook for Premium users

What to do next:
Look at other essays: