( Humaira )The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries.
The graph illustrates the percentage of
the
Correct article usage
apply
people
aged 65 and above in USA
, Sweden and Japan over Correct article usage
the USA
an
101-year period between 1940 to 2040.
Change the article
a
Overall
, the population of all countries increased, but Sweden and USA had some flactuations
. It is expected that the number will follow the same trend.
Correct your spelling
fluctuations
Firstly
, in 1940, the number of elderly people
in USA
was 9% and Correct article usage
the USA
then
rose significantly to 15% in 1980. After that, it witnessed a slight decline to 14% in 2000 and it is predicted that, by the year 2040, the proportion will reach 23%. However
, in 1940, 7% old
Change preposition
of old
people
were in Sweden. Furthermore
, it climbed remarkably to 14% in 1980. After a slight drop, the population rate increased again to 20% in 2020 and will jump to 25% at the end
of the period.
population
of 65 and over aged Add an article
the population
people
started at 5% in Japan in 1940 and dwindled to 30% in 1960. Subsequently
, it
remained stable till 1980.Correct pronoun usage
they
Finally
it rose gradually to 10% in 2020 and will hit the peak point Add a comma
,Finally
to
27% in 1940.Change preposition
of
Submitted by englishpills077 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words people with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
▼