( Humaira )The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries.

( Humaira )The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries.
The graph illustrates the percentage of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
aged 65 and above in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
, Sweden and Japan over
an
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a
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101-year period between 1940 to 2040.
Overall
, the population of all countries increased, but Sweden and USA had some
flactuations
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fluctuations
. It is expected that the number will follow the same trend.
Firstly
, in 1940, the number of elderly
people
in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
was 9% and
then
rose significantly to 15% in 1980. After that, it witnessed a slight decline to 14% in 2000 and it is predicted that, by the year 2040, the proportion will reach 23%.
However
, in 1940, 7%
old
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of old
show examples
people
were in Sweden.
Furthermore
, it climbed remarkably to 14% in 1980. After a slight drop, the population rate increased again to 20% in 2020 and will jump to 25%
at the end
of the period.
population
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the population
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of 65 and over aged
people
started at 5% in Japan in 1940 and dwindled to 30% in 1960.
Subsequently
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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remained stable till 1980.
Finally
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,Finally
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it rose gradually to 10% in 2020 and will hit the peak point
to
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of
show examples
27% in 1940.
Submitted by englishpills077 on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words people with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
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