IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Space travel is fantastic these days, but there are many issues, such as environmental problems, that we should be focusing on. What are your views on the allocation of public funding?

#space #travel #allocation
Travelling to space is trending these days, but environment and funding are
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
creating some problems.
This
 essay will focus on both the issues and solutions for the same. Nowadays many
scienctist
Correct your spelling
scientists
scientist
 are interested to find
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 another planet and
hence
 they
wants
Change the verb form
want
show examples
 to travel to space, but
this
 can create a problem
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
earth's
Correct article usage
the earth's
show examples
surronding
Correct your spelling
surrounding
surroundings
 and financial issues
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
humans. To go
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
search
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 lives
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
other planet
Change the wording
another planet
other planets
show examples
, more and more time and energy
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 required to spend on the process.
This
 process may
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
 our environment,
for instance
, when
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
scientist
launch
Change the verb form
launches
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 rocket, it
produce
Change the verb form
produces
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
balck
Correct your spelling
black
 smoke. In the making of that rocket, lots of finance is required, and government take
this
 money from the taxes paid by the citizens.
For example
, in
future
Add a comma
,future
show examples
 if they are planning to go to space, they will work on the budget and
than
Replace the word
then
show examples
 they will recover the same amount from the citizens. Some possible
solutions
Fix the agreement mistake
solution
show examples
 to
this
 problem are protecting the climate by launching
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rockets in
such
surrondings
Correct your spelling
surroundings
 which are far from human beings.
Instead
 of recovering the budget amount from the public,
Add an article
the
show examples
government should start a kind of scheme where people can donate if they want to or else they should ask for the help at international level.
To conclude
,
Environment
Correct article usage
the Environment
show examples
 and people should not be
effected
Correct your spelling
affected
show examples
, but still
country
Correct article usage
the country
show examples
 should be developed
simultaneaously
Correct your spelling
simultaneously
.
Submitted by infojmvisaservices on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Read more in the eBook

The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »

* free ebook for Premium users

What to do next:
Look at other essays: