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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018. Summarise the informtion by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018. Summarise the informtion by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #families #country #income #summarise #informtion #features #comparisons
The bar chart illustrates the changes
between
Change preposition
in
show examples
 average weekly spending in eight categories by
families
 in 1968 and 2018.
Overall
,
families
 in 2018 spent their weekly income
quit
Correct your spelling
quite
show examples
 differently in comparison to 1968
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 when they had to spend a huge
percent
Replace the word
percentage
show examples
 of
income
Correct pronoun usage
their income
show examples
 on food. That’s why in 2018
families
 had more opportunities to spend more on leisure than on anything else. There were three categories in which
families
 in 2018 spend more than in 1968. Leisure is the biggest expense with more than two times
figures
Correct article usage
the figures
show examples
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to 1968 (25 and 8
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
respectfully
Replace the word
respectively
show examples
).
Transport
Correct article usage
The transport
show examples
 and housing category were
also
 nearly twice as big. (14 and 19
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
).
On the other hand
,
families
 in 1968 spent noticeably more on several categories. Food was the biggest expense and took more than a third of the whole budget.
Also
, they spent twice as more on clothing and
footware
Correct your spelling
footwear
 (8
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
) and personal goods (10
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
).
Submitted by p.zhukova89 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Contractions: Don't use contractions.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words families, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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