Some people believe that starting school at an earlier age is very beneficial for children, while others believe that children must stay home and attend school at the age of 7. In your opinion, what are the advantages of attending school before the age of 7

In recent years more and more individuals consider that commencing
school
at an
Early
Fix capitalization
early
show examples
age
is really constructive for minors but nobody would dispute the fact that
children
must dwell home and go to
school
at the
age
of 7. In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
children
should acquire an education
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
their
Change the word
an
show examples
early
age
. I will put my thoughts in the word in the forthcoming paragraphs. Nowadays common opinions in society show that most parents always support the fact
children
should attend
school
at the
age
of 7. Because they might be tired and their brain can not accept more information.
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
show examples
they are bad at reading thinking or calculating regularly. They feel awkward themselves among other students.
On the other hand
in my opinion young minors should go to
school
in their early time. Because they will achieve everything in advance.
Firstly
they may have got a lot of abilities and they can
adminster
Correct your spelling
administer
everything. To me even though they will struggle they have to do them
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
later
Correct article usage
a later
show examples
time they tend to perform
theses
Correct your spelling
these
show examples
. They will catch up with
another friends
Replace the adjective
another friend
other friends
show examples
if they make an effort. In
conclusion
Add a comma
,conclusion
show examples
most people think that our
children
go to
school
at the
age
of 7 but in my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
they attend
school
earlier
however
they are really young or weak
Submitted by ilkhomjon.uralov97 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Read more in the eBook

The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »

* free ebook for Premium users

What to do next:
Look at other essays: