People are surrounded by advertisement which has an increase effect on our lives. Do you think the positive effect of this outweigh the negative effects?

#people #advertisement #effect #lives #outweigh #effects

For humans commercial occurs every day,

Correct word choice

and that

show examples

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

improves our lives. I personally believe that advertising has more benefits than flaws

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

since it can be convenient and can save

our

Correct pronoun usage

show examples

time

This

essay will examine the advantages and disadvantages of promotion and provide a logical conclusion. On the one hand,

publicity

has a multitude of weaknesses. Advertising on the Internet is vulnerable to hacking or intruders.

Thus

, appeared a lot of bad unacceptable

advertisings

Replace the word

advertisements

show examples

such

as drugs,

casino

Fix the agreement mistake

casinos

show examples

, pyramid

scheme

Fix the agreement mistake

schemes

show examples

and so on.

For instance

, it was one accident in Astana about half a year ago. On the main street of Astana billboard advertising drugs and

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

caused a commotion among the people.

In addition

publicity

can give bad effects

Change preposition

show examples

children since advertisers

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

promote

Change the verb form

promoting

show examples

their product

show

Correct word choice

and show

show examples

this

product in good view.

Although

this

product is not as useful as it is presented.

For example

, in the commercial, they say

there’s

Wrong verb form

there are

show examples

a lot of vitamins in the juice, but there’s

also

a high sugar level in the juice. On

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

another

Correct quantifier usage

other

show examples

hand, if we begin to control and filter the commercial, it will give us significant advantages.

Correct your spelling

Firstly

First

Firtsly

Correct your spelling

Firstly

publicity

significantly saves our

time

and energy since we can stay at home and recognize

about

Change preposition

apply

show examples

things that we need.

For instance

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

marketing improved so much, that people can see the promotion everywhere and save

their

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

time

to find something.

Also

, the commercial can call for doing good deeds. There

Add a missing verb

are a

show examples

multitude of

Fix the agreement mistake

ads

show examples

that

call

Change the verb form

calls

show examples

to do something good.

For example

, charity commercial, which is a good example of the use of advertising. To conclude,

commercial

Add an article

the commercial

show examples

has many disadvantages.

However

, if we will control and filter

publicity

, advertising will

Add a missing verb

be a

show examples

great way to save

time

and use

publicity

for good purposes.

Submitted by Allazhar on Wed Nov 23 2022

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9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25Mistakes

4 paragraphs

292 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

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Support main points with an explanation and then an example

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Vary your linking phrases using synonyms

Lexical resource: 4.0

Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms

Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes

Grammatical Range: 4.0

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Check your writing for errors

Task Achievement: 9.0

Answer all parts of the question

Present and fully explain ideas

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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People are surrounded by advertisement which has an increase effect on our lives. Do you think the positive effect of this outweigh the negative effects?

When a country develops its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out. It is pointless to try and keep them alive. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people beleive that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or diagree with this statement. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

The older generations tend to have very traditional ideas about how people should live, think and behave. However, some people believe that these ideas are not helpful in preparing younger generations for modern life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

During the last century, the use of cars has increased dramatically. This has caused problems such as pollution and overcrowded roads. Why do people buy cars and what can we do to stop people from buying them?