The two pie charts provide information about boys and girls’ participation rates in various activities after the survey.

#two #information #boys #girls’ #participation #rates #activities #survey

The two pie charts provide information about

boys

Change noun form

boys'

boy's

show examples

and girls’ participation rates in various

activities

after the survey.

Overall

, computer games are the most famous activity among

boys

whereas

dancing is among girls. Males’ least participating activity is reading.

In contrast

, it takes the second highest

portion

among females.

Boys

mostly like to play computer games,

as a result

of the survey,

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

shows almost half of all cultural and leisure

activities

whereas

girls’

portion

this

activity takes nearly half of

boys’

Add an article

the boys’

show examples

rate, 16%. The second highest participation

portion

among

boys

is basketball which takes nearly a quarter of all

activities

Similarly

, girls involve in reading after

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

dancing,

shows

Correct subject-verb agreement

show

show examples

21%. The

least

Correct your spelling

last

show examples

portion

Change preposition

show examples

cultural and leisure

activities

is reading that

boys

participate in, 2%. The rate of 11%, which shows a similar participation

portion

indicates skateboarding for

boys

and gymnastics for girls. Both males and females listen to the music

Change preposition

show examples

the same level, taking one-tenth of all

activities

Submitted by nurgulast on Thu Jan 26 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words boys, activities, portion with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "provide" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

4 paragraphs

162 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

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One main idea per paragraph

Include an introduction and conclusion

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Vary your linking phrases using synonyms

Lexical resource: 4.0

Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms

Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Check your writing for errors

Task Achievement: 9.0

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Use an appropriate tone

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The two pie charts provide information about boys and girls’ participation rates in various activities after the survey.

With the development of modern society is the loss of traditional ways of life.is it important to keep our traditional ways of life? How can this be achieved?

Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activity that improve the mind, such as reading and doing word puzzles. Other people feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

With the rise of e-books comes the decline to paper books. Some people see this as a good step forward while others do not. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the above statement? What other measures do you think might be effective?

Some people think that the best way to run a business is within the family. What are the advantages and disadvantages of a family-run business?