Many Offenders commit more crimes after serving the first punishments. Why is this happening and what measures can be taken to tackle these problems.

İ
t
is noticeable that many
offenders
commit more crimes after serving the
first
punishments
. İn my opinion ,
punishments
which needs can'
t
be given properly by
governments
, and
thus
crime
commit
rates
increase gradually . Many
offenders
who still continue to commit
Correct your spelling
crime
crimes
srime
Correct your spelling
crimes
will be saved from
this
problem if
governments
will provided seminars about crimes to
offenders
or
Correct word choice
if
show examples
governments
will prepare jails properly
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
offenders
.
Firstly
,
punishments
which needs can'
t
be given properly by
governments
, and
causes
Correct subject-verb agreement
cause
show examples
crime
commit
rates
Add the particle
to
show examples
increase gradually . Many countries struggle with these problems anymore .
For instance
, a man will become
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
guilty when he committed
crime
Add an article
a crime
the crime
show examples
and afterwards,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
will give
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Replace the word
punishment
show examples
punish
Correct pronoun usage
himpunish
show examples
,and
therefore
this
punish won'
t
be
properly
Replace the word
proper
show examples
for guilty . Another point to consider is that
governments
should
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
provide solutions properly for
offenders
. Because many
offenders
still
crime
commit and causes much trouble
such
as death ,
Correct your spelling
thieves
thiefness
Correct word choice
and thiefness
show examples
.
For instance
,
offenders
can be saved if
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
will set up seminars about crimes , and
thus
crime
commit
rates
will decrease in countries
where
Correct word choice
that
show examples
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
offenders
. İn conclusion ,
punishments
which needs can'
t
be given properly by
governments
, and causes
crime
commit
rates
Add the particle
to
show examples
increase gradually . İn my opinion ,
governments
should
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
provide solutions properly for
offenders
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and
thus
commit
Replace the word
commitment
show examples
rates
will decrease in countries
where
Correct word choice
that
show examples
have
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
offenders
.
Submitted by atescagdas826 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Read more in the eBook

The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »

* free ebook for Premium users

What to do next:
Look at other essays: