Many manufactured food and drink products contain high level of sugars which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

There
are
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is
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controversy that many manufactured
food
and beverage goods contain
high
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a high
show examples
percentage of sugars which lead to general health issues. Here,I would discuss
about
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apply
show examples
the
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apply
show examples
either side of
pros
Correct article usage
the pros
show examples
and cons of
opinion
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the opinion
show examples
that sugary goods ought to be produced more expensive to intend
people
to eat less
sugar
.
Firstly
, if
sugar
goods
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
produced more expensive, low-income householders could not
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afford
effort
affort
Correct your spelling
afford
to buy
food
. Most
of
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apply
show examples
foods
Add an article
the foods
show examples
is consisted
Change to the active voice
consists
has consisted
show examples
of
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
various
carbohydrate
Fix the agreement mistake
carbohydrates
show examples
like
sugar
.
Therefore
,
food
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
will rocket
bacause
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because
of increased
sugar
price
. Even worse, it can cause inadvertently deficiency of nutrition which cause
to
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apply
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health
Add an article
a health
show examples
problem
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problems
show examples
like hypoglycemia and starvation.
Secondly
, due to
of
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apply
show examples
decreased
sugar
demand,
food
Correct article usage
the food
show examples
industry associated with
sugar
might
wittness
Correct your spelling
witness
bankruptcy. After
then
, it will decrease
sugar
production which lead to skyrocketing
sugar
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
. So more
people
can not buy
sugar
than before. Granted, It
also
have
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has
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positive
Add an article
a positive
the positive
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effect which
reduce
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reduces
show examples
adult disease like
Correct your spelling
diabetes
diabete
Correct your spelling
diabetes
and hypertension,and obesity. In my opinion, there are more drawbacks
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
expensive
sugar
price
than merits in terms of
either
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
people
's health and economical aspect.
Therefore
,
sugary
Add an article
the sugary
show examples
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
should be produced
less
Change preposition
at less
show examples
expensive to let
people
enjoy
food
regardless of affordability.
Submitted by king777123 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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