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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The pie charts below show units of electricity production by fuel source in Australia and France in 1980 and 2000. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#show #units #electricity #production #fuel #source #australia #france #summaries #information #features #comparisons
The pie chart illustrates the sources of
electricity
 in
Australia
 and France in the years 1980 and 2000.
Overall
, the number of
units
 of
electricity
production
Replace the word
produced
show examples
 by coal was significant in
Australia
 in both years and increase dramatically over the period, rising from 100
units
 to 170 in
Australia
, and from 90 to 180
units
 in France. Apparently,in
Australia
1980
Change preposition
in 1980
show examples
, the use of
electricity
 produced from coal was 50
units
, and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
natural gas hydropower each produced 20
units
 and oil which was only 10
units
. It is apparent that by 2000, coal had increased significantly by 130
units
 and hydropower will be increased to 36
units
.
In contrast
, France used coal and natural gas which only produced a quarter of
units
Correct article usage
the units
show examples
 of
electricity
 in 1980
whereas
 oil was one-fifth of
units
Correct article usage
the units
show examples
 of
electricity
,
while
 nuclear power was only 15
units
 and hydropower was 5
units
. But by 2000 nuclear power, which increased dramality to 126
units
 of
electricity
,
while
 coal and oil together produced only half of
units
Add an article
the units
show examples
 and other sources were not significant.
Submitted by gorgeousnf on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words electricity, australia, units with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 3 times.
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