Many young people choose to take a year out between finishing school and starting university in order to gain work experience or to travel. The experience of non-academic life this offers benefits the individual when they return to education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, most students prefer to take a gap year after their graduation
instead
of starting directly a university
education
to have non-academic work experience and travel. I believe that
although
this
is an advantage for young
people
,
this
also
may bring many negative effects. There are a variety of benefits to taking a year before starting
further
education
.
First
of all, youngers could save money for their
education
or future life.
Secondly
, they might gain a lot of real-life experience and they learn some difficulties about working.
For instance
, when they want to buy a new technological device from their parents they do not care about prices, but if they have to spend their own money they can become more reasonable.
Consequently
, the youngs would become an adult at an early age.
Furthermore
, they have a chance to travel a lot and meet different
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
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all over the world.
On the other hand
, there could be detrimental effects of taking a gap year after finishing school. Because young
people
may enjoy travelling and feel safe with saving money, they could not want to go back to academia and continue university
education
. Since pursuing a career is required hard work and patience, most young
people
choose work rather than
further
education
.
This
may lead
people
to
Add a missing verb
be less-developed
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less-developed
Correct your spelling
less developed
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about theoretical knowledge which is useful for conducting a real project like
construction
Correct article usage
the construction
show examples
of complex buildings. To recapitulate, both going university after graduation offers many advantages like guaranteed a career and starting directly real work-life provides gaining experience and income.
Thus
, I consider that both choices
has
Change the verb form
have
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their own advantages.
Submitted by fatmaymc23 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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