Write a letter to your manager telling him about how sitting for long hours for your work has affected your health. In your letter you should mention; 1. What health problems are you facing. 2. Give suggestions as to about what changes can be brought about to reduce the health risks on you and on your colleagues. 3. How will these changes be beneficial to the company when it comes to future employees.

#manager #hours #work #health #suggestions #changes #risks #colleagues #company #future #employees

Dear Manager, My name is Joe. I am working as a software engineer in our firm for the

last

two years. The reason for writing

this

letter is to narrate the issues while doing the job on a daily basis. As you are already aware that from the

last

three months workload has been at

the

Change the word

its

show examples

peak. In order to maintain the deadline of the

projects

Add a comma

,projects

show examples

I need to seat on a chair for more than 10 hours a day.

This

action leads to severe back pain. Due to

this

, in the previous

week

Add a comma

,week

show examples

I approached one doctor

then

he suggested I perform some

yoga

activities as a daily routine to mitigate

this

Hence

I would like to request you that if possible

then

kindly hire one

yoga

instructor so that all employees including me all workers will take part actively on daily basis

especially

Add the comma(s)

,especially

show examples

in the morning. Even though during high workload schedule we will manage somehow to attend

this

yoga

class. As everyone is aware that by performing some

yoga

on a daily manner, it will definitely lower the back pain issue

moreover

it provides relaxation to all the employees and

also

increases concentration. Owing to

this

workers in our firm able to work smoothly without any hassle. An open line of communication on

this

matter will be greatly helping out. Waiting for your reply. Regards, Joe

Submitted by akshay.thakare2804 on Thu Feb 24 2022

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

One main idea per paragraph

Include greeting and closing

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Vary your linking phrases using synonyms

Lexical resource: 6.0

Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms

Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Check your writing for errors

Task Achievement: 9.0

Answer all parts of the question

Use an appropriate tone

Word count

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