working day or in their free time and have health problems as a result. Why do so many working people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem?

#time #health #people #exercise

Nowadays,

people

are becoming more unambitious to do workouts during the working day even they have free

time

. As a consequence, their health turns into poor quality. There are two reasons that lead them into

this

situation: they are too busy and they have

time

but technological devices attract them. “They are too busy”.

This

is the age of working,

people

always talk about business even they have a vacation with their family or their friends so they cannot spend

time

for exercise. Taking my mom

for

Add the comma(s)

,for

show examples

example, she is a teacher, daily, she gets up at 5 o’clock and does housework, at 7 o’clock, she has many lecturers at school until 5 p.m she comes back home and goes on doing housework so she has no

time

for training.

On the other hand

, Technology creates a passive environment for humans. They are the big fences that separate humans and working out because they are more attractive than workouts. Researchers show that

people

can take a large amount of

time

to use technology without feeling bored.

Therefore

people

do not get enough physical education for themselves. Raising their awareness is the most effective way to help them. To raise their awareness, it is necessary to receive the support of the government. They can organize the day for working out and it is compulsory for all.

In addition

, if smartphones or other devices are too addictive, we need an app that can help

people

gain profits if they do exercise,

this

will be the best procedure in the future to build a good health social. In conclusion, it is obvious that training plays an important role in our life so we should create ourselves a chance to boost our health for a better life.

Submitted by jakedth162 on Tue Dec 14 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

Include an introduction and conclusion

Support main points with an explanation and then an example

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Vary your linking phrases using synonyms

Lexical resource: 8.0

Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms

Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Check your writing for errors

Task Achievement: 4.0

Answer all parts of the question

6.5

Present and fully explain ideas

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Word count

Become Premium

Check as many essays as you want
Analyze highlighted mistakes
Use the built-in grammar checker
Discover your weaknesses
Get suggestions to get a higher score
Browse the history of checked essays
14-day money back guarantee

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

<4
band
Some people believe that it is fairer to assess a student’s ability based on their performance during the whole course rather than giving a formal examination at the end of the course. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Assessing a student’s ability based on his/ her activeness through the whole course is thought to be fairer than evaluating through exams. I agree with this view for certain reasons.
6.5
band
It is an increasing trend of businesses to neglect the environment to further their profits. What problems can this cause? What measures could resolve them?
Our planet is plagued by environmental issues that are depleting our natural resources and putting an enormous strain on our livelihoods. It is true that today's companies are in danger of neglecting their physical surroundings, as they focus their efforts on ensuring a more robust and secure virtual infrastructure. While this is a serious problem, it can be resolved by implementing harsher tax regulations.
6
band
Some people think that money is the best gift for teenagers. Others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion
These days, more and more parents prefer to give money as gifts to their children. While some people are under the opinion that money is the best present, others, however, think that there are plenty of different ways to show their love and attention. I'm entirely convinced, that financial gifts usually are more suitable and acceptable for teenagers. This essay will consider both points of view and reveal a clear conclusion.
7.5
band
Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this view?
The development of the city play an essential part to Keep the nation alive and evolution in such scenario Though, some lion cheers of the people's asserts that investment of taxes in the Craft is scarp rather than funding for other facilities I strongly agree with the purpose thought and The for my inclination are articulated in trail paragraph.
7.5
band
One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
Better health facilities are now available to the public which has led to a rise in their average life span. Although there are certain benefits and drawbacks to this view, in my opinion, the positive aspects of improved healthcare have surpassed the negative ones.

working day or in their free time and have health problems as a result. Why do so many working people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe that it is fairer to assess a student’s ability based on their performance during the whole course rather than giving a formal examination at the end of the course. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is an increasing trend of businesses to neglect the environment to further their profits. What problems can this cause? What measures could resolve them?

Some people think that money is the best gift for teenagers. Others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this view?

One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?