People who cause their own illnesses through unhealthy lifestyles and poor diets should have to pay more for health care. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In these present times, healthcare costs are rising due to the growth in modern diseases and viruses which are effect
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
harmful routines. These lifestyles include
disadvantage
Replace the word
disadvantaged
show examples
nutrition, smoking and lack of exercise.
However
, I partially agree with
this
statement.
Thus
, in
this
essay, both sides of
this
issue will be discussed.
People
who have unhealthy daily life like to ignore
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their fitness.
For example
, drink alcohol, smoking, consume fatty food and so on.
Moreover
, the major of deceases are occur from personal
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
. As the result,
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
have
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
unusual
symptom
Fix the agreement mistake
symptoms
show examples
and go to
hospital
Add an article
the hospital
show examples
to cure.
Then
, persons who get sick should have to spend more than well – being
person
Add an article
a person
show examples
because treatment expenditure include medicines, services from
medical
Add an article
the medical
a medical
show examples
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
, lab test, and etc.
For instance
, the office man who
love
Change the verb form
loves
show examples
to do their work overtime,
not
Add a missing verb
does not
show examples
allocate time to work out, and
devour
Change the verb form
devours
show examples
junk foods is affected
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
cancer.
Hence
,
this
man must use his saving money to pay for treatment. While
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
healthy
people
are not matter
Change the verb form
do not matter
show examples
to disburse for curing.
In contrast
, all
people
should have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
welfare from the government to approach public health because it must be
Correct article usage
the basis
show examples
basis
Replace the word
basic
show examples
privilege of all. So, it will
be disagreed
Change to the active voice
disagree
have disagreed
show examples
in
this
issue whatever you have a weak condition or strong body, you must deserve public health services thoroughly. It can illustrate which sickness
people
should be cured
from
Change the preposition
of
show examples
government healthcare
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
suitable
Correct article usage
a suitable
show examples
price and do not cash in the extra bills. In conclusion, from my perspective, I agree with
statement
Add an article
the statement
show examples
because everyone should care yourselves in order to spend additional for remedy and help to reduce emergency
patient
Fix the agreement mistake
patients
show examples
.
Submitted by northpole_43420 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Read more in the eBook

The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »

* free ebook for Premium users

What to do next:
Look at other essays: