People nowadays are not as fit and active as they were in the past. What are the reasons for this? What measures can be taken for this?

In the
last
decades,
people
have gradually become more sedentary, at the same time, obesity affects an important percentage of the population. In the following short essay, the reasons for
this
and some possible solutions will be addressed.
To begin
, sedentarism and overweight issues are narrowly connected. In the
last
half of the 20th
century
Add a comma
,century
show examples
the global economy switched from hard labour to services and information
techologies
Correct your spelling
technologies
. Having said that, nowadays, more and more
people
work behind a desk without having to do any kind of physical activity.
Moreover
, the fast-
food
industry has increased dramatically and has changed the eating patterns
especially
Add the comma(s)
,especially
show examples
in the western world.
For example
, one century ago, an average worker stayed for more than eight hours a day
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
a farm and used to eat fresh
food
,
in contrast
, currently, the same person gests sitted eight hours in an office and
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
breakfast and
luch
Correct your spelling
lunch
in a restaurant full of ultra-processed
food
. Since obesity has turned into a public health problem, one feasible solution might come from local
goverments
Correct your spelling
governments
government
, they should increase
campaings
Correct your spelling
campaigns
campaign
of awareness against the low-activity way of life and all its risks. Politicians can take direct actions against the
availabilty
Correct your spelling
availability
of fast
food
by increasing the taxes to those companies. Maybe, if more data related to the negative consequences of poor eating
choises
Correct your spelling
choices
mixed with low activity habits were exposed in public media,
people
would be more careful of their daily life.
For instance
, parents will
double check
Add a hyphen
double-check
show examples
if
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
soda is a suitable
bevarage
Correct your spelling
beverage
for their children if they knew that sugar is highly related to
diabethes
Correct your spelling
diabetes
and
kindney
Correct your spelling
kidney
issues. To conclude, the main reason for
people
being less fit and active than older generations
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
may be
Correct your spelling
maybe
show examples
the dangerous combination of low-quality
food
and sedentarism. In order to mitigate
this
issue,
goverments
Correct your spelling
governments
government
can publish campaigns to reduce the
comsumption
Correct your spelling
consumption
of bad
food
and improve the habits of their population.
Submitted by camiloko1989 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Read more in the eBook

The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »

* free ebook for Premium users

What to do next:
Look at other essays: