Caring For Children is very important for our society. therefore all mothers and fathers should take childcare training course. To what extent you agree or disagree?

Taking care of
children
is believed to have a crucial role in human civilization. It is questionable
that
Remove the determiner
apply
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whether all
parents
need
undergoing
Change the verb form
to undergo
show examples
such
a training
course
to do
childcare
well.
Although
I agree with the idea of how significant
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
childcare
is, I completely disagree that training
course
should be taken by all parental adults. There is no doubt that the younger generations are inseparable parts of future
properous
Correct your spelling
prosperous
and civil society as long as they are well-educated and have
profound
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a profound
show examples
understanding of morals.
As a result
, it is of great necessity for
children
to experience
a
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apply
show examples
good parental guidance.
On the other hand
, social chaos would be witnessed due to an increase in the number of lawbreakers. It is a fact that people whose backgrounds involve no relation to their parental upbringing would not tend to comply with laws.
For example
, offenders who did not use to be taught well with ethic lessons and skills helping them apply for a job are likely to commit crimes in order to meet their basic needs and afford their living costs.
However
, there is no need for all
parents
to pursue a training
course
in terms of
childcare
, especially in
such
society
Correct article usage
a society
show examples
in which each
inviduals
Correct your spelling
individual
is frequently packed with
hectic
Add an article
a hectic
show examples
schedule.
Parents
, who are responsible for various aspects of life including finance and parental function, are under a lot of pressure; and
therefore
,
heavy
Correct article usage
a heavy
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workload with the addition of extra learning seems to be unbearable.
Instead
, with the constant advancement of technologies, there are various sources
such
as videos, e-books, social networking sites, providing
parents
with instructions regarding how to care for
Correct your spelling
children
children's
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
in the most effective ways. In conclusion, I do not suppose to support the idea that
childcare
Correct article usage
a childcare
show examples
training
course
is needed for all
parents
because as soon as the significance of looking after
children
is taken into account,
parents
can join hands to care for their
children
without having trained by extra courses.
Submitted by ngochail911112 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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