Some people feel that music should be taught in schools while others believe it is better to focus on the sciences. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays, education is an integral part of everybody's life.
However
, there are some arguments about
importance
Suggestion
the importance
of each subject. On the
one
hand, a
plethore
extreme excess
plethora
of people
opine
Suggestion
opines
that
music
is crucial in
studying process
Suggestion
the studying process
. Without a doubt, that subject may possibly have
extremely positive impact
Suggestion
an extremely positive impact
on future generations. With learning
music
, children will be more intelligent, because they will have general knowledge which
one
is high-quality sound and which
one
is useless,
as a result
, it may alleviate a quantity of future singer, who would produce unsatisfactory content.
For instance
, there was an article which
revealse
make visible
revealed
reveals e
reveals
that adults who studied
music
at school in
comparisone
the act of examining resemblances
comparison
with those who did not, had higher the IQ level.
On the other hand
, there is a strong view that science is the most essential. Indeed, Physics, Chemistry, Biology and Math are
indispensible
not to be dispensed with; essential
indispensable
during every child's education. A numerous of
usefull
being of use or service
useful
skills may be developed with
help
Suggestion
the help
of those subjects
such
as logical thinking and solving problems
.
Accept space
.
Furthermore
, science is everywhere, it is connected with every aspect of
everbody's
Suggestion
everybody's
everybody
life.
For example
, in
one
popular TV show, a group of scientists showed how a car tire can be replaced with
help
Suggestion
the help
of general laws of physics. They used minimum of equipment. Personally, I believe that it is important to study a wide range of subjects at school.
Consequently
, that will help children to understand what they are
pasionate
having or expressing strong emotions
passionate
about and it will be
usefull
being of use or service
useful
in future choice-making procedure about occupation.
As a result
, there will be more happy society. In conclusion,
music
helps to have better taste and be more intelligent, whereas sciences may help to solve some every day issues.
Submitted by Людмила Репета on

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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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