A large company in your area has decided to spend a certain amount of money, either to sponsor a local children’s sports team for two years, or to pay for two open-air concerts. It has asked for feedback from the general public. Write a letter to the company. In your letter, • Describe the benefits of sponsoring the sports team. • Summarise the benefits of paying for the concerts. • Say how you think the company should spend the money.

#company #area #amount #money #sponsor #children’s #sports #team #two #years #concerts #feedback #summarise

Hello

dear

Change the capitalization

Dear

show examples

, I am writing

this

letter to show you how it is important to invest money in

sports

, I strongly believe that

sports

can make

people

live better. I have a kid and pay for him to play soccer on the weekend because these days everybody stays all the time on the cell phone, internet, etc. It is not healthy

Correct your spelling

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not

play

Fix the infinitive

to play

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any

sports

, so I advise everybody needs to play unless one sport keeps your body healthy and in good shape. I hardly believe

companies

want to make the

people

live better and investment in sport provides health and exposition for the company. When I was a child, I used to play soccer on the street and I was so happy, but now it is very tough to

that

Add a missing verb

do that

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with a lot of violence. To conclude, I am very positive the way

companies

have been changed how they spend the money, by the

way

Add the comma(s)

,way

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I know many

companies

that invest a bunch with

sports

, donations and make the

people

live better. I really believe that

companies

need to care and help the community to have a better place to live. I am pretty happy that you think about help

sports

and make

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people

live better. Best Regards Jhones

Submitted by jhones.goncalves on Thu Oct 14 2021

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

One main idea per paragraph

Include greeting and closing

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Vary your linking phrases using synonyms

Lexical resource: 5.0

Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms

Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Check your writing for errors

Task Achievement: 8.0

Answer all parts of the question

Use an appropriate tone

Word count

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