Childhood obesity is an increasing problem in Australia. As many as two thirds of the children are now obese. Schools have a responsibility to monitor what their students eat and the amount of exercise they do. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#childhood #obesity #australia #two #thirds #children #schools #responsibility #students #amount #exercise

Obesity is becoming a problematic issue in young

generation especially

Accept comma addition

generation, especially

in Australia, where% of the young generation are obese. In believe of some

school

should take charge of it by recording about children’s eating habits and their physical

activeness

Suggestion

activity

This

essay discusses why I completely agree with

this

phrase because

school

’s

life

is a major part of child’s

life

Accept space

The main reason why Australian schools should monitor what children eat and exercise is because students spend almost of their valuable time of

life

school

. Children not only stay in

school

at their breakfast and lunch

time but

Accept comma addition

time, but

also

eat junk

food

from cafes and canteens available there. A recent study states that

school

children eat 80% of their daily

food

requirements during

school

hours. It is

also

mentioned that kids intake about two

third

part of their

food

within 8 hours after wakeup

Accept space

Therefore

, parents will have the knowledge of what all should they do, if

school’s record

Suggestion

the school’s record

about kids eating and physical

activities

Suggestion

activity

details. It is definitely

school’s responsibility

Suggestion

the school’s responsibility

to maintain a record that how much a child eats in proportionate to it

Accept space

has he played enough sports? The

secondary but

Accept comma addition

secondary, but

also

very essential reason

Suggestion

a very essential reason

why

school

should meddle with student’s diet and exercise is because it can have positive

pschycological

mental or emotional as opposed to physical in nature

psychological

impacts on the students themselves. Since, teachers are the role models for kids

Accept space

if they tell children about the pros and cons; advantages and disadvantages of eating unhealthy

food

in addition

of healthy eating habits

Accept space

children will change their way of looking

food

only in terms of eating and taste. An experiment was done in a secondary

school

at Texas by initiating these talks in their daily routine for 10 minutes and discussing what all each kid eats in a day

Accept space

in order to that, they

also

changed menu of café by

provided

Suggestion

providing

healthy

food

this

not only transformed the way of eating of children

Accept space

but

also

while the experiment children forced their parents to eat and cook healthy which lead 70% weight loss of overweight kids. Certainly, it is good idea.

This

essay discussed why schools should be a part in

prevention

Suggestion

the prevention

this

preventable disease because students spend half of the time at

school

for about 11 years and it may affect children to

adapt

choose and follow; as of theories, ideas, policies, strategies or plans

adopt

healthy

life

. In my opinion, I completely agree with the proposition that childhood obesity is

responsibility

Suggestion

the responsibility

school

Suggestion

the school

schools

Submitted by setia.mehak on Tue May 19 2020

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

Include an introduction and conclusion

Support main points with an explanation and then an example

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Vary your linking phrases using synonyms

Lexical resource: 4.0

Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms

Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Check your writing for errors

Task Achievement: 5.5

Answer all parts of the question

5.5

Present and fully explain ideas

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Word count

Become Premium

Check as many essays as you want
Analyze highlighted mistakes
Use the built-in grammar checker
Discover your weaknesses
Get suggestions to get a higher score
Browse the history of checked essays
14-day money back guarantee

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4
band
Studying with a group of students is more beneficial than studying online at home. To wha extent do you agree ?
Group lessons, for instance in a auditorium, are considered by some people has a plenty of advantages for students,while other people thinks that alternative way of education ,such as online class, exceeds that. I agree that the best strategy of assuming knowledge is classes in a real life one to one with teacher or tutor.
7
band
Some people think that managers alone should make decisions in the company, while others think that employees should be involved in the decision-making process too. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Some people thought that only higher authorities should make plans in an enterprise. Although, other things that the workforce should be encouraged to take part in decision making procedures. This essay agrees that the top level management decisions are necessary, but this provision should also be given to its employees for organisational growth. This essay will discuss about both viewpoints.
6.5
band
Many people believe that social networking sites (such as facebook) have had a negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree?
One of the state-of-the-art technological developments in the 21st century is the emergent of social media. Others argue that this innovation has brought a large-scale of negative effects to people as well as to the community. Although I agree with the statement, I could not also deny the fact that this digital media has tremendous advantages too.
6.5
band
Celebrities make a very good living out of media attention and have chosen to live in the public spotlight. They have no right to complain when they feel the media are intruding on their privacy. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Being famous should not mean that you give up all right to a private. Although a lot depends on the reason why a person is famous, everyone should be able to enjoy a certain amount of privacy.
6
band
Some people believe that university students should pay all the cost of studies because university education only benefit the students themselves not the society as a whole. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
With the increasing demand for education, it has been a huge burden for university's students to pay all the tuition fees. Nevertheless, some insist that to pay the cost of education is the students' responsibility, not a government's as the study is only beneficial to the pupils. From my point of view, I am entirely against with the notion as the education brings about a number of advantages to both students and society.

Childhood obesity is an increasing problem in Australia. As many as two thirds of the children are now obese. Schools have a responsibility to monitor what their students eat and the amount of exercise they do. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Fully explain your ideas

Studying with a group of students is more beneficial than studying online at home. To wha extent do you agree ?

Some people think that managers alone should make decisions in the company, while others think that employees should be involved in the decision-making process too. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Many people believe that social networking sites (such as facebook) have had a negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree?

Celebrities make a very good living out of media attention and have chosen to live in the public spotlight. They have no right to complain when they feel the media are intruding on their privacy. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people believe that university students should pay all the cost of studies because university education only benefit the students themselves not the society as a whole. To what extent do you agree or disagree?