Childhood obesity is an increasing problem in Australia. As many as two thirds of the children are now obese. Schools have a responsibility to monitor what their students eat and the amount of exercise they do. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Obesity is becoming a problematic issue in young
generation especially
Accept comma addition
generation, especially
in Australia, where% of the young generation are obese. In believe of some
school
should take charge of it by recording about children’s eating habits and their physical
activeness
Suggestion
activity
.
This
essay discusses why I completely agree with
this
phrase because
school
’s
life
is a major part of child’s
life
.
Accept space
.
The main reason why Australian schools should monitor what children eat and exercise is because students spend almost of their valuable time of
life
in
school
. Children not only stay in
school
at their breakfast and lunch
time but
Accept comma addition
time, but
also
eat junk
food
from cafes and canteens available there. A recent study states that
school
children eat 80% of their daily
food
requirements during
school
hours. It is
also
mentioned that kids intake about two
third
part of their
food
within 8 hours after wakeup
.
Accept space
.
Therefore
, parents will have the knowledge of what all should they do, if
school’s record
Suggestion
the school’s record
about kids eating and physical
activities
Suggestion
activity
details. It is definitely
school’s responsibility
Suggestion
the school’s responsibility
to maintain a record that how much a child eats in proportionate to it
,
Accept space
,
has he played enough sports? The
secondary but
Accept comma addition
secondary, but
also
very essential reason
Suggestion
a very essential reason
why
school
should meddle with student’s diet and exercise is because it can have positive
pschycological
mental or emotional as opposed to physical in nature
psychological
impacts on the students themselves. Since, teachers are the role models for kids
,
Accept space
,
if they tell children about the pros and cons; advantages and disadvantages of eating unhealthy
food
in addition
of healthy eating habits
,
Accept space
,
children will change their way of looking
food
only in terms of eating and taste. An experiment was done in a secondary
school
at Texas by initiating these talks in their daily routine for 10 minutes and discussing what all each kid eats in a day
,
Accept space
,
in order to that, they
also
changed menu of café by
provided
Suggestion
providing
healthy
food
,
this
not only transformed the way of eating of children
,
Accept space
,
but
also
while the experiment children forced their parents to eat and cook healthy which lead 70% weight loss of overweight kids. Certainly, it is good idea.
This
essay discussed why schools should be a part in
prevention
Suggestion
the prevention
of
this
preventable disease because students spend half of the time at
school
for about 11 years and it may affect children to
adapt
choose and follow; as of theories, ideas, policies, strategies or plans
adopt
healthy
life
. In my opinion, I completely agree with the proposition that childhood obesity is
responsibility
Suggestion
the responsibility
of
school
Suggestion
the school
schools
.
Submitted by setia.mehak on

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    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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