IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The charts below show the reasons why people travel to work by bicycle or by car. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The charts below show the reasons why people travel to work by bicycle or by car. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
#show #people #travel #work #bicycle #car #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The first chart sheds light on why some
people
 choose
Add an article
a bicycle
show examples
bicycle
Fix the agreement mistake
bicycles
show examples
 to travel to
work
. Contrariwise, the
second
 chart gives
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information about the
reason
 why they go to
work
car
Change preposition
by car
show examples
 . By and large,
people
 who prefer bicycles to
work
 are mostly concerned about fitness, health and population.
On the other hand
, comfort is the predominant
reason
 why
people
 use cars for travel to
work
 . First and foremost, less than a
third
 of those who is riding a bike to
work
 say that it’s good for their health and
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 them to stay in shape .
Besides
 , the same amount of
people
 (30%)
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
 another
reason
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
because
Replace the word
that
show examples
 it causes less exhaustion to the environment . Meanwhile , 15% of
people
 insist that there is
no
Correct your spelling
not
show examples
 difficult to find a spot to park
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 bike , and the rest agree on it’s cheaper and faster than driving a
car
. Simultaneously , the percentage of
people
 who choose to travel by
cars
Fix the agreement mistake
car
show examples
 simply because it’s more comfortable is 40% . Travelling
long
Add an article
the long
show examples
distance
Fix the agreement mistake
distances
show examples
 from home to working place takes up to 21%
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the
reason
 why we should drive a
car
.
People
 who have to get to
work
 early and need to carry things to
work
 are two reasons have the same amount of percentage
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
14%.
Last
 but not least , safety
reason
 is why
people
 need to go to
work
 by
car
 , which
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
occupied 11% in total .

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Contractions: Don't use contractions.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, work, reason, car with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gives" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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