IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The charts below show the reasons why people travel to work by bicycle or by car. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the reasons why people travel to work by bicycle or by car. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #people #travel #work #bicycle #car #summarise #information #features #comparisons
Both
two
 pie charts illustrate the
reason
 for
people
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
select their means
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
work
. The former explains why they choose cycling and the latter points out what led them to
driving
Change the verb form
drive
show examples
. Among the reasons to ride to
work
, health and fitness occupy 30%, becoming one of the
two
 largest proportions. Sharing the same
percentage
 is the environmental
reason
: riding a bicycle to
work
consumps
Correct your spelling
consumes
 no fuel and
therefore
 keeps the air fresh. These
two
 reasons came from more than half of the number of responded
people
. In the
third
 position is the parking problem. Bicycles are not as cumbersome as cars, and the parking fee is
also
 much lower. 2% less than that (13%) of the
responder
Replace the word
respondents
show examples
 said that riding a bicycle is good with no cost, probably considering the expense for fuel, highway and parking when using a car. The other 12% state that it’s faster than driving, possibly in terms of traffic jams.
On the other hand
, the
reason
 for comfort takes the largest proportion, about 40%, followed by the
reason
 related to distance to
work
, with approximately half
percentage
. It is understandable since riding a bicycle just works for
people
 who live close to their workplace
..
Replace the punctuation
.
...
show examples
 Sharing the same 14%
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 the
reason
about
Change preposition
for
show examples
 speed and about the necessity to carry stuff to
work
. Take 11%, which is the least
percentage
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
the
reason
 for safety.
People
 in
this
 group might think staying inside the car will be less likely to cause an accident than
expose
Wrong verb form
exposing
show examples
 the pitfalls
while
 cycling. In conclusion, the
two
 pie charts show
two
 ranges of reasons for riding and driving respectively
While
 in the first chart, the
reason
 for healthy, fitness and for
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
 share the same largest
percentage
, the opinion that most
people
 agree
for
Change preposition
with
show examples
 driving in the
second
 chart is its comfort.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Contractions: Don't use contractions.
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words two, reason, people, work, percentage with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: