IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

the chart shows the percentage of male and female teachers in six different types of educational setting in the UK in 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

the chart shows the percentage of male and female teachers in six different types of educational setting in the UK in 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#percentage #teachers #six #uk #summarise #information #features #comparisons
This
 bar chart indicates
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the rate of
man
Fix the agreement mistake
men
show examples
 and women teachers in
each
Change the determiner
every
show examples
 six educational phases of the UK in 2010. There is
big
Add an article
a big
show examples
 gap
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 percentage between male and female teachers for Nursery/
Pre-
Correct your spelling
preschool
show examples
school
 and Primary
school
. Approximately 90%
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 female and male is only 5%.
However
, the rate difference of each gender
become
Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
show examples
 smaller as grades up. Ultimately, nearly three times of men occupy the percentage of
university
Add an article
the university
show examples
. College is the only setting
which
Change preposition
in which
show examples
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 and
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 work equally in these six different settings. In
case
Correct article usage
the case
show examples
 of men, the grade of education proceeds,
the
Correct word choice
and the
show examples
 ratio of
them
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
show examples
 especially
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
hugely rise between primary
school
 and secondary
school
.
On the other hand
,
while
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 almost all of
rate
Add an article
the rate
show examples
 until secondary
school
, it gets less and less since college.
Overall
, the chart shows that in 2010
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the UK, there are more women in primary educational settings and the opposite, men
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 in
higher
Add an article
a higher
show examples
 educational
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words school with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: