The pie charts below compare water usage in San Diego, California and the rest of the world.

The pie charts below compare water usage in San Diego, California and the rest of the world.
The given pie charts compare the percentage of
water
consumed for residential, industrial and agricultural purposes in
San
Diego
,
California
and the
world
as a whole. It is noticeable that residential usage accounts for the vast majority of
water
consumption
in the two American regions.
By contrast
, the rest of the
world
consumes more
water
in agriculture than in industry or domestic. In
San
Diego
County and
California
state, 60% and 39% of total
water
consumption
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
utilized in domestic,
while
only a mere
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
8% of
water
Add an article
the water
show examples
used globally goes to homes. The opposite trend can be seen when we look at agricultural usage.
This
accounts for a massive 69% of
water
use in the rest of the
world
, but only 17% and 28% of the total
water
consumption
in
San
Diego
and
California
respectively.
Such
dramatic differences are not seen when we compare the figures for industrial
water
consumption
. The same proportion of
water
(23%) is used by
San
Diego
and the
world
as a whole,
while
the figure for
California
is slightly higher, at 33%.
Submitted by dotran905 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words water, san, diego, california, world, consumption with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "compare" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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