IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The tables below give information about sales of Fairtrade*-labelled coffee and bananas in 1999 and 2004 in five European countries

The tables below give information about sales of Fairtrade*-labelled coffee and bananas in 1999 and 2004 in five European countries
#tables #information #sales #coffee #bananas #five #european #countries
The given tables provide
sales
 information on
coffee
 and
bananas
 which had Fairtrade labels attached to them and
coffee
 and
bananas
 had been sold in five different European
countries
 over 5
years
,
1990
Change preposition
from 1990
show examples
 to 2004. The
sales
 price is given in millions of
Euros
 and the fair trade
coffee
 and
bananas
 indicate that the farmers who produced these products are from developing
countries
 and have been paid a decent price for their production.
Overall
,
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 was the largest
market
 in
faritrade
Correct your spelling
fairtrade
fair trade
 labelled
coffee
,
while
Switzerland
 was the biggest
market
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
bananas
. As the table data demonstrates
Switzerland
 was the largest
market
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
coffee
 in 1999 which was around 3
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
millions
Correct your spelling
million
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
euros
 even though in 2004
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 was 20
million
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
euros
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
coffee
while
 in
Switzerland
 was around 6
million
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
euros
. Belgium and Sweden had the same pattern of
coffee
 over 5
years
,
1million
Correct your spelling
1 million
 of
euros
 increased to 1.7
million
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
euros
,
0.8
Correct word choice
and 0.8
show examples
million
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
euros
 went up to 1
million
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
euros
 respectively.
Although
 Denmark becomes double in 2004 which
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
started at 1.8
million
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
euros
.
According to the
Change preposition
The
show examples
 table clearly say that
sales
 of
coffee
 have
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased in five
countries
 over both 2
years
. For
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
banana
sale
Add a comma
,sale
show examples
Switzerland
 was the largest sale
market
 in both
years
also
sales
Correct article usage
the sales
show examples
 amount of
banana
Fix the agreement mistake
bananas
show examples
 was higher than
sales
Correct article usage
the sales
show examples
 amount of
coffee
. In
Belgium
Add a comma
,Belgium
show examples
 the
sales
 amount was increased in 2004 which
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 started at 0.6
million
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
euros
. Other
countries
, Sweden, Denmark even UK
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
decreased
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sale in 2004.
Submitted by tharukapera55 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 73%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words sales, coffee, bananas, countries, years, euros, market, switzerland, million with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "tables" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: