IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The tables below give information about sales of Fairtrade*-labelled coffee and bananas in 1999 and 2004 in five European countries.

#tables #information #sales #coffee #bananas #five #european #countries
The given tables provide
sales
 information on
coffee
 and
bananas
 which had
Fairtrade
 labels attached to them and had been sold in five different
countries
 in Europe in 1999 and 2004. The
sales
 price
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 given in millions of Euros and the
fairtrade
coffee
 and
bananas
 indicate that the farmers who produced these products are from developing
countries
 and have been paid a decent price for their production. As a general trend, the
UK
 was the largest market for
Fairtrade labelled
Add a hyphen
Fairtrade-labelled
show examples
coffee
while
 Swiss people preferred
bananas
 of
this
 category in 2004. As the table data demonstrates, the market for
Fairtrade
 labelled
coffee
 and
bananas
 witnessed a dramatic increase in 2004 than that
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
5 years ago. With regards to
coffee
sales
, the highest amount of
sales
 could be observed in Switzerland in 1999 with exactly 3
million
 Euro sale volume. The sale in the
UK
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
 year was half of that and the lowest sale was recorded in Sweden with less than 1
million
 Euro. After 5 years, the
sales
 of
coffee
 in these
countries
increases
Change the verb form
increase
show examples
 with a remarkable improvement in the
UK
. The
sales
 went up to 20
million
 Euros in the
UK
 in 2004
with
Correct your spelling
which
show examples
 was almost double
than
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the combined
sales
 amount in the remaining four
countries
. For
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
banana
sales
, Switzerland was the largest market in both years.
Sales
 amount in the rest of the
countries
 summed to just over 4
million
while
 it was 15
million
 alone in Switzerland. The
sales
 upsurged significantly and went up to 47
million
while
 it decreased in Denmark.
Submitted by tharukapera55 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sales, coffee, bananas, fairtrade, countries, uk, million with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "tables" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "went up" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: