IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The given two pie charts show the percentages of cotton production by different countries between 1990 and 2000.

The given two pie charts show the percentages of cotton production by different countries between 1990 and 2000.
#the #two #show #percentages #cotton #production #countries
Two pie charts depict information regarding the production of cotton in five
countries
 in the given years
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1990 and 2000.  TANAM In 1990, India was the country which was leading in cotton fabrication, which was just under
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half (45%). Another two
countries
, Australia and Canada were contributing
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 equal proportion in thread cultivation with a total
40
Change preposition
of 40
show examples
%,
while
 the least
percentages
Fix the agreement mistake
percentage
show examples
 (15%) of produce were devoted by Russia.  After a decade, it is observed that three
countries
 namely India, Australia and Russia experienced a drop in wool making. Though India felt a decline, it was again the leading contributor with 33%.
While
 a significant change was noticed in Russia in which the production growth was nearly half of the year 1990.
On the other hand
, Canada was only the country which jumped in harvesting linen from 20% to 30% in a given period.  Another unique feature of the
second
 graph is that nearly one-sixth of the manufacture was attributed
by
Change preposition
to
show examples
 China (15%) which was as equal
as
Change preposition
to
show examples
 Australia (15%)
while
 it had not contributed
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 cultivating jute in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 former decade. 
To conclude
, generally in both decades, the contribution of all
countries
 was in similar order except China.
Submitted by meetpatel962418 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words countries with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: