Childhood obesity is an increasing problem in Australia. As many as two thirds of children are now obese. Schools have a responsibility to monitor what their students eat and the amount of exercise they do. To what extent do you agree with this statement?
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Obesity in the youngsters is becoming increasingly
problem
in many countries, especially in Australia where a relatively more Suggestion
problematic
students
facing weight issues. Some people argued that Suggestion
student
school
Suggestion
schools
the school
should be take
immediate actions to deal with students’ over weight by monitoring and controlling food consumption and Suggestion
should take
exercise
output. I completely disagree with this
statement.
The main reason why Australian schools should be monitored their students’ food intakes and exercise
output is in generally students
tend to be believe more in their teachers. Children’s have grown with a strong belief of schools that what they taught. Suggestion
general, students
general students
Therefore
, if schools have assisted to monitor these, most students much more likely to do it by either with scarcity or willingly. Take my brother as an example who
is studying in a primary class. He always has a concern about his breakfast due to Accept comma addition
example, who
being checked
by his class teacher. Indeed, students have the ability to obey their schools and follow them, so Suggestion
be checked
been checked
that is
a duty of school
to monitor them.
The secondary reason why schools should check their students diet plan and Suggestion
the school
schools
exercise
is that most of their abilities being enforced in schools. Although
school
taught academic subjects, that also
need to direct their students as healthy citizens to make a bride of the school
. For instance
, in kinder gardens, where children began to enforce certain standards in to
their lives. If they guided and monitored in a proper way, they would be maintained their health. expresses motion to a point on, or within, something
into
This
is true in schools as well. Cleary, school
Suggestion
the school
should be tackle
Suggestion
should tackle
this
issue to keep up their standards to represent a moral role model.
In conclusion, this
essay discussed why schools observe their students diet and exercise
because of students
that they obey and gaining attitudes in schools. In my opinion, I completely agree with Suggestion
the students
this
proposition that childhood obesity is a responsibility of schools
.Suggestion
the schools
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite