IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s.

The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s.
#land #three #regions #world
The pie chart illustrates how four factors affected agricultural
land
degradation
 around the world and the table presents the
percentage
 of
land
degradation
 in three distinct regions caused by these factors during
1990s
Change the article
the 1990s
show examples
Overall
, as is observed from the pie chart, the main reason for
land
degradation
 from the result of over-grazing. The ratio of over-grazing made up the biggest
percentage
 (35%), followed by deforestation and over-cultivation,
stood
Correct pronoun usage
which stood
show examples
 at 30% and 28% respectively.
Whereas
, the other factors only cover 7
percentages
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
.
According to
 the table, the highest
percentage
 of
land
degradation
 occurred in Europe, where the main cause was deforestation (9.8% out of 23% of
total
Correct article usage
the total
show examples
).
However
, deforestation was the lowest
percentage
 of
land
degradation
 in North America where the total
land
 degraded only made up 5%.
This
 figure was nearly half of that in Oceania in which over-grazing accounted for the highest
percentage
 ( 11.3% out of 13% of
total
Correct article usage
the total
show examples
).
While
 over-cultivation did not contribute to the cause of
land
degradation
 in Oceania, it was the highest cause in North
American
Correct your spelling
America
show examples
 ( 3.3%) and the
second
 factor in Europe (7.7%)

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words land, degradation, percentage with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 6 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: