The time people devote in job leaves very little time for personal life. How widespread is the problem. What problem will this shortage of time causes.

As
world
Suggestion
the world
is passing through the 21th century, all the nations are developing in
this
era. It is the global issue these days that the employees who devote their unique time to any organization or industry those have very less time for their personal
life
and
this
problem has become widespread. I strongly accord to
this
statement and I will provide strong view points in the forthcoming verses before reaching to plausible conclusion.
undeniably
Suggestion
Undeniably
, escalation of unemployment rate among the youngsters as well as market products is increasing at high rates. Every individual is
into
Suggestion
in
rat race
Suggestion
a rat race
the rat race
to earn more and more money so anonymously people have become
workaholic
Suggestion
workaholics
a workaholic
and money minded.
Furthermore
, all the companies
does only think
Suggestion
are only thinking
about their benefits they give overtime working hours to employees so workers kills each other to high earning.
conspicuously
Suggestion
Conspicuously
, if a person, spend his most of precious time out of the
home
Accept comma addition
home, then
then
unquestionably his family relations will be weaker and it leads to
myriads
Suggestion
the myriads
of problems which have their hazardous effects on one’s
life
.
Firstly
,
person
Suggestion
a person
the person
can lose his partner.
Moreover
,
divorce rate
Suggestion
the divorce rate
will be increased if
this
sort of tendency spontaneously goes on
.
Accept space
.
also individual
Accept comma addition
Also, individual
Also individual
can attain
sedentary
Suggestion
the sedentary lifestyle
sedentary lifestyle
a sedentary lifestyle
life
style which leads to dangerous ailments
such
as obesity, stress and depression
etcetera and
Accept comma addition
etcetera, and
it is
also
claimed by Apollo hospital’s research on software employees. To conclude, it can be said that undeniably bucks are main need of today’s materialistic world but personal
life
should never be ignored. Governments
also
must implement some rules about duties.
Submitted by fgf583770 on

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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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