You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Some people feel that entertainers such as film stars, pop musicians or sports stars are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other types of job should be highly paid? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

#minutes #people #entertainers #film #stars #pop #musicians #sports #money #job

The industry for entertainment has become increasingly popular in recent years.

This

leaves many people with a belief that they are being offered a large sum of money for their jobs.

This

essay will argue as to why

such

belief is preposterous and

also

focus on the other essential jobs that require a higher salary. The belief that entertainers are “money grabbers” seems to right in the sight of many, as they charge a large sum of money for a show or a match spending only

little time

Suggestion

a little time

.The amount of time or the energy spent on the stage or the ground is small compared to that of other workers who

nealry

(of actions or states) slightly short of or not quite accomplished; all but

nearly

invest their entire day in their workplace.

Therefore

such

gossips are passed around various

community

Suggestion

communities

However

this

idea is absurd as these people work with their heart, mind and soul

to reach

Suggestion

reach

such

fame. It is very hard for a singer to become popular unless they trained day and night in order to rise to unreachable heights.In

adddition

a component that is added to something to improve it

addition

, they strive each day to

maintian

keep in a certain state, position, or activity; e.g., "keep clean"

maintain

their

hierachy

a series of ordered groupings of people or things within a system

hierarchy

hierarchies

in the entertaining culture.

This

shows the amount of commitment and sacrifices sown when compared to other menial jobs.

For example

Accept space

- Micheal Jackson, the famous singer, was shut in a room by his mother for long hours in order for him to learn his vocal chords correctly.

This

might seem like

cruelty but

Accept comma addition

cruelty, but

this

was

also

the reason that lead him to achieve the best in the entertainment industry.

On the other hand

, there are other jobs that

also

need to receive an increased pay as the work is strenuous and sometimes ensure many their lives. These jobs include farmers and doctors where one strives to produce

food

benefit

good

enough for the country and the other combats with diseases to overcome the death of a person.

For example

, a farmer in Sri Lanka would only earn 50000 rupees per month depending on the monsoon rain and the climate but the struggles that they strive is unimaginable. Even though the idea that employees in the entertainment field receive a higher salary is very common.In my opinion,

such

beleifes

any cognitive content held as true

beliefs

need to be changed as their pain is unseen and subtle.

Moreover

, it is indispensable to

encourgae

contribute to the progress or growth of

encourage

the salary improvement

amongt

in division, with shares to each

amongst

among

other worker

such

as farmers and doctors.

Submitted by sarahchozen17 on Wed Oct 30 2019

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

Include an introduction and conclusion

Support main points with an explanation and then an example

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Vary your linking phrases using synonyms

Lexical resource: 4.0

Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms

Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Check your writing for errors

Task Achievement: 6.0

Answer all parts of the question

Present and fully explain ideas

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Word count

Become Premium

Check as many essays as you want
Analyze highlighted mistakes
Use the built-in grammar checker
Discover your weaknesses
Get suggestions to get a higher score
Browse the history of checked essays
14-day money back guarantee

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Most people try to balance between work and other parts of lives. Unfortunately, not many achieve this balance. Problems and solutions?
In this day and age, due to the rush of life, most people are being exposed to the imbalance between their work and other aspects of lives. While there are a wide variety of factor leads to this problem, steps can be taken to tackle the issue.
<4
band
What are the problems if you ask too many people for advice?
I think there is no problems if someone ask too many people for advice. Many people ask multiple people for opinion so that they can make a better decision. People just want to know how others react to certain choices they have, so they can get an idea of what the better one is. It could help you a lot depending on what it is.
7
band
Some people think that having a set retirement age (e.g. 65 years) for everybody, regardless of occupation is unfair. They believe that certain workers deserve to retire and receive a pension at an earlier age. Do you agree or disagree? Which type of workers do you think should benefit from early retirement?
People’s physical strength deteriorates with aging. Therefore, one school of thought avers that, it not wises to fix the retirement age of all the professionals, since different fields require different energy level. I concur with the statement and, in following paragraphs I will discuss the arguments in detail with examples.
6.5
band
Some people are of the opinion that there should be a car-free day once every month, on which no private vehicles are allowed on the road. Discuss the advantages and possible disadvantages.
Many individuals believe that a car-free day once every month should be necessary but this rule will prohibit private vehicles on the road. This essay will examine the advantages and disadvantages of a car-free day and provide a logical conclusion.
6.5
band
For schoolchildren, their teachers have more influence on their intelligence and social development than their parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The development of children is now a topic of the whole society. Do you think children are going to school, teachers In terms of intelligence and social development, the impact will be on their parents. I think the teacher may be in the face of wisdom children have more influence on children, but parents have more influence on children in social skills development.

Fully explain your ideas

Most people try to balance between work and other parts of lives. Unfortunately, not many achieve this balance. Problems and solutions?

What are the problems if you ask too many people for advice?

Some people are of the opinion that there should be a car-free day once every month, on which no private vehicles are allowed on the road. Discuss the advantages and possible disadvantages.

For schoolchildren, their teachers have more influence on their intelligence and social development than their parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?