"Children are facing more pressures nowadays from academic, social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce these pressures?

#children #pressures #perspectives #measures

It is commonly said that today’s children

are pressurized

Suggestion

was pressurized

were pressurized

as were yesterday’s adults. That’s true in the sense that children are facing harder and harder academic, social and

commercial

Suggestion

Commercial

challenges. It

is happening

Suggestion

happens

simply because of the ever increasing demands

Suggestion

life, from the same perspectives, on humans in general. While it is important that

children

Suggestion

Children

excel in their age to become successful as adults, they must be shielded from

the

Suggestion

The

mounting pressure by maintaining a balance between material and psychological

growth

Suggestion

Growth

. As the global village becomes more and more competitive

everyday

Suggestion

every day

, it becomes

important

Suggestion

Important

for us to prepare for the fight, so to speak, earlier and earlier.

This

is realized

Suggestion

all, which triggers societies to push their juveniles during their learning stage. The other thing

that

is contributing

Suggestion

has contributed

this

ever rising pressure on children is the lack

institutional

Suggestion

Institutional

opportunities, especially in developing countries. Now, more than ever,

children

Suggestion

Children

are having to race each other for reaching the privilege of higher education. While healthy competition is helpful for the psycho-social development of young ones,

Suggestion

is rather unhealthy when the race becomes more prominent than the objective. Of

course

Suggestion

Course

the objective of children competing against each other ideally is brining the best

out

away from home

Out

of themselves. But, very frequently, a child is compelled to compete for becoming

better

Suggestion

Better

than the other.

In other words

, the competition becomes a brawl rather than being

Suggestion

sprint. To stop

such

spiteful struggle among our young, we must

first

establish a sense of

camaraderie

Suggestion

Camaraderie

within all our developmental institutions,

such

as schools and colleges. Students must contest for academic betterment, not social supremacy.

Also

, parents

should

Suggestion

Should

get proactively involved in promoting sportsmanship among learners. They must

not

negation of a word or group of words

Not

allow vile aggressiveness and their own

vengefulness

in the lives of their children. To sustain

such

social reformation the government must establish ample alternatives to

the

Suggestion

The

traditional route to success. 32 IELTS ESSAY SAMPLES - Band 9 The conclusion here is simple. The children today are being put into a ‘survival-of-

thefittest

Suggestion

the fittest

’

situation

Suggestion

A situation

Situation

much earlier than they must be when they should really be trying to do

their

Suggestion

Their

best.

Such

untimely loss of innocence is only going to make civilization more

antagonistic

Suggestion

Antagonistic

Therefore we

Accept comma addition

Therefore, we

must ensure that personal development may be ushered in

harmony

compatibility in opinion and action

Harmony

and not in vile rivalry.

Mon Aug 26 2019

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

Include an introduction and conclusion

Support main points with an explanation and then an example

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Vary your linking phrases using synonyms

Lexical resource: 4.0

Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms

Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Check your writing for errors

Task Achievement: 4.0

Answer all parts of the question

Present and fully explain ideas

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Word count

Become Premium

Check as many essays as you want
Analyze highlighted mistakes
Use the built-in grammar checker
Discover your weaknesses
Get suggestions to get a higher score
Browse the history of checked essays
14-day money back guarantee

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
In the future, students may have the choice of studying at home by using technology such as computers or television or of studying at traditional schools. Which would you prefer? Use reasons and specific details to explain your choice.
Whether it would be better for students to attend online classes from their homes or whether they should continue going to traditional schools, given that they have the choice to pick, it is a debatable issue that has sparked a great deal of controversy. Nobody can deny that computer technology has offered a range of advantages in education. However, I am an avid adherent of traditional education for the following reasons.
4
band
Some people think that more money should be spent on protecting endangered species while others think it is waste of valuable money. What is your opinion?
It has been argued whether the government should be concerned with the environment and with species facing extinction. Whilst some consider this a waste of resources, others think environmental protection should be a number one priority. In my point of view, taking care of the fauna is a way to preserve the natural balance and should be one of the major society’s concerns.
7.5
band
Some people believe that if people are allowed to work after the age of 60 years, it would cause problems. Do you agree or disagree?
Many of us believe that a person should retire from work duties at the age of 60, however, others oppose that if people are allowed to do so they may face a few issues. As per my opinion, I partially agree and disagree with the statement and will elaborate my viewpoints in further detail.
7.5
band
Most artists earn low salaries and should therefore receive funding from the government in order for them continue with their work. To what extend do you agree or disagree?
Many people are of the opinion that artists who do not earn a decent income should be supported by the union. I do not agree with this point of view because I believe ministry funding should be spent on pressing social problems and also because artists can find alternative sources of income to support themselves.
8.5
band
Some people say that traveling abroad is necessary to get knowledge about other countries, while others suggest that TV and the internet can also help people know about foreign countries. Discuss both views and give your own opinion
It is widely believed that visiting overseas is necessary to receive knowledge about different nations.However, others believe that people can know about other countries with the help of TV and the internet. In my opinion, it is necessary to visit another country to explore more about it. In this essay, we will discuss both views before a conclusion is reached.

"Children are facing more pressures nowadays from academic, social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce these pressures?

Fully explain your ideas

In the future, students may have the choice of studying at home by using technology such as computers or television or of studying at traditional schools. Which would you prefer? Use reasons and specific details to explain your choice.

Some people think that more money should be spent on protecting endangered species while others think it is waste of valuable money. What is your opinion?

Some people believe that if people are allowed to work after the age of 60 years, it would cause problems. Do you agree or disagree?

Most artists earn low salaries and should therefore receive funding from the government in order for them continue with their work. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that traveling abroad is necessary to get knowledge about other countries, while others suggest that TV and the internet can also help people know about foreign countries. Discuss both views and give your own opinion